5 Steps to Greatness

I see and hear a lot of bands these days that are totally interchangeable. So many of them sound alike, which I attribute directly to the internet and the fact that artists and bands no longer develop on their own, away from outside pressures and forces (think about pre-internet instances such Nirvana toiling in Aberdeen, Washington, or REM in Athens, GA, or Prince in Minneapolis, or NWA in Compton, or pretty much all of the amazing bands to come out of Dunedin, a small town on the South Island of New Zealand).

The incredible homogeneity among today's scene has gotten me thinking about all of the truly unique artists and bands that have come along, and the factors that contributed to their greatness and staying power. And though this post is kinda tongue-in-cheek, I really do think that if a band follows these steps, they'll have a much better shot at god-like status. So kids, here's some advice from an old guy (by rock standards) who's seen a lot:

1. Dial in a unique tone on your instrument. Think Peter Hook's bass sound in Joy Division/New Order, or Steve Albini's guitar tone in Big Black, or John Bonham's drums on pretty much everything.

2. Write some incredibly good songs.

3. Find a visionary producer. Someone who can elicit amazing performances from you and your bandmates. Listen to what he/she says. Be clay in their hands.

4. Cultivate an image. Even if it's a non-image (see: Grunge) - and dress to the nines.

5. Strike a pose. Find someone - Anton Corbijn or Charles Peterson would be good - to take lots of black and white photos of you in accidentally iconic poses (see: The Velvet Underground, The Smiths, Bob Dylan, et al). These will look really good as posters on dorm room walls and the inevitable coffee table books about you.

Then what? Well, the rest is luck, timing, who-you-know and a bunch of random variables that you have no control over. You're either destined to be a legend or you're not. But if you follow my 5-step plan, you just might make it. Bon chance, mes amis. ~ Tim